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Julie Holm's Blog
Thoughts as I figure out what to say now that I've finished my final paper on bonhoeffer.
The Body, God, and Radiation Oncology
Posted by:
Juliana Holm on
September 3, 2010 at
8:03AM EST
This week, Patrick J. Wilson, in his lectionary blog for The Christian Century, shared a wonderful meditation on the body, even the ailing body, being "fearfully and wonderfully made." What timing this blog entry was for me, as I finish my second week of radiation!
It is easy, isn't it, to wonder at the body that excels: the fabulous major league pitcher, the amazing little gymnast, the willowy beautiful model, even the local aerobics instructor captures our attention and amazement. But these days I am just as aware of the wonder of my own body. My body has changed a lot in the last few months. Two surgeries (due to the first one not having sufficient margins around the tiny bit of cancer found) left me with a two inch scar and slight dent in my left breast. I have two tiny black dot tattoos, to line up the radiation machine, framing this distorted breast. Now that part of my body, once familiar, feels a little alien. And they are bombarding me with radiation, intended to weaken or kill my cells. It is not in many ways a time to celebrate this broken, old, overweight body.But that is NOT how people at the radiation oncology unit treat me. They greet me gently, touch me tenderly as they place me on the table and shift me around to line up to the lasers for my treatment. They inquire daily as to my energy levels, my skin, my state of mind even. I know that everyone coming in here is somehow broken, and they do, too. They treat us with love, with kindness, and touch our bodies as if they are sacred. Which of course, this reminds me, they are. And with faith, because they (and I) truly believe that my body contains already the grace to repair the good cells, and dispose of the bad ones as a result of this treatment.
Oncology is strange that way. It damages the body, with the faith that the good will be stronger than the bad, and will win out in the end. There is very much a resurrection attitude to the work of oncology. Indeed, my new friends in Radiation Oncology are touching me with the hands of faith, with the hands and the assurance of God. |
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